Friday, February 11th

February 11, 2011- I awoke at 4:20 in the morning to water pouring out of my body. I knew what it was the moment it happened, though I couldn't quite make sense of how this could be happening when I'm only 21 weeks along. Once your water breaks you have to get the baby out, right? If he comes out now, he's too under-developed to survive....I sat with these thoughts for a few minutes and then woke Jason up. We subsequently rushed to the nearest ER. Upon entrance, they ran tests for infection and performed an ultra sound, which confirmed my water had indeed broken. There was no way to identify the cause. And this was not a small leak. 100% of my fluid was gone. He will reproduce fluid as I intake it, but it will continue to leak out. The toughest part of the news was that my son was still 3 weeks from "viability," meaning that if he was born now, he would not survive. We could only wait and pray that for 3 more weeks, infection didn't set in and I didn't go into labor. After 3 weeks, if he comes, they can intervene to help him survive. There's still the issue of the fluid, however. See, even if we make it 3 weeks with no infection and no labor, his lungs can't develop without the presence of fluid. So all we can do is wait for God to do a miracle. Seal up the rupture to allow the amniotic sack to refill with fluid....or develop my son in the absence of the fluid, so he can survive when he's forced to come out here. And so our journey begins....

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 5

Landon woke me up this morning doing martial arts in my belly. Apparently he was ready to eat. My little fighter. When he's getting really serious about it, J and I can actually watch my stomach and see the movements. This isn't typical at 21 weeks, but without fluid around him, he's right up against my uterus, which is what makes this possible. I like that we get such a joyful benefit out of such a tragic reality. As I laid in bed on my side, I placed my hand on my stomach and thanked God for this miracle- another day labor and infection free, and my boy seems to be as strong as ever. And they told me he couldn't move much without the fluid in there. Apparently they didn't realize this was MY son they were talking about. I'm quite sure he heard them and said "oh yeah? we'll see about that!"

My appetite has been amazing over the past few days. I like to think it's because God is packing the pounds on my son- getting him developed fast, so he's ready when he comes. God does cool things like that. Whatever the reason, I'm eating constantly, which seems like a good thing considering eating has been a struggle throughout my pregnancy.

Lying down is getting harder. I miss walking. I miss going outside. My back is starting to hurt. There's only so much comfort in these limited positions. It's amazing what we will do for our children, that we would never do for ourselves. My endurance is for my son. I remain still for him. Remain still and believe God for our huge miracle. Huge for us, but nothing for Him. I will continue to pray without ceasing. I will rejoice in the things I cannot control...and I will rejoice in the biggest thing I can control- fighting like my son does every single day!
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1 comment:

  1. Stefany PewFebruary 15, 2011 at 11:13 PM

    Beautifully put Shauna! I'm addicted to your blog! I can't wait to read it everyday. So glad he is doing well. I loved feeling Kylee in my stomach. I miss that feeling and dream about it often and can almost feel it again in my dreams. Your son is a true fighter!!! Keep at it boy!!!

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