Friday, February 11th

February 11, 2011- I awoke at 4:20 in the morning to water pouring out of my body. I knew what it was the moment it happened, though I couldn't quite make sense of how this could be happening when I'm only 21 weeks along. Once your water breaks you have to get the baby out, right? If he comes out now, he's too under-developed to survive....I sat with these thoughts for a few minutes and then woke Jason up. We subsequently rushed to the nearest ER. Upon entrance, they ran tests for infection and performed an ultra sound, which confirmed my water had indeed broken. There was no way to identify the cause. And this was not a small leak. 100% of my fluid was gone. He will reproduce fluid as I intake it, but it will continue to leak out. The toughest part of the news was that my son was still 3 weeks from "viability," meaning that if he was born now, he would not survive. We could only wait and pray that for 3 more weeks, infection didn't set in and I didn't go into labor. After 3 weeks, if he comes, they can intervene to help him survive. There's still the issue of the fluid, however. See, even if we make it 3 weeks with no infection and no labor, his lungs can't develop without the presence of fluid. So all we can do is wait for God to do a miracle. Seal up the rupture to allow the amniotic sack to refill with fluid....or develop my son in the absence of the fluid, so he can survive when he's forced to come out here. And so our journey begins....

Monday, February 21, 2011

Our Baby Boy is With God

It started out as cramping and feeling like I had the flu these past two days. Then I began contracting. I prayed all the way to the ER, begging God to make it stop and give us more time. I begged him not to take my son.  The contractions stopped by the time we arrived. We spoke with the doctors and within a couple hours, I was to be released to go home. But I knew something wasn't right. Less than an hour later I began contracting much harder, with far less time in between contractions. In that moment the pain is so intense that you have no room in your mind to focus on anything other than making it through it. They brought me to a room, administered pain medication via IV, and told me they suspected an infection. I knew this was it. My boy was coming and he wasn't going to survive. I was lucid for parts of the labor and delivery and completely oblivious to others, but I felt him being birthed and I heard them quoting a dropping heart rate. Little Landon was born at about 12:30am, heart still strong, and went home to be with God minutes later. He was our little fighter. He and I sure tried as hard as we could....but God had a different plan. Maybe we will understand it one day; I suspect not. I'm not sure where one even begins to pick up the pieces from here. All I know is that, today, we take the first step to move through it together....and continue to trust God. We are grateful for the outpouring of prayer and support. Thank you.
Posted by at

1 comment:

  1. StefanyFebruary 21, 2011 at 7:44 PM

    Can't begin to understand the heartache you are going through. All I know is that you are continually strengthening and inspiring me Shauna. Sweet Landon has a purpose bigger than we will ever be able to understand. What a sweet reunion it will be in heaven! He is back in the arms of his creator where he is the happiest he will ever be. How sweet it is! Love you!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)