Friday, February 11th

February 11, 2011- I awoke at 4:20 in the morning to water pouring out of my body. I knew what it was the moment it happened, though I couldn't quite make sense of how this could be happening when I'm only 21 weeks along. Once your water breaks you have to get the baby out, right? If he comes out now, he's too under-developed to survive....I sat with these thoughts for a few minutes and then woke Jason up. We subsequently rushed to the nearest ER. Upon entrance, they ran tests for infection and performed an ultra sound, which confirmed my water had indeed broken. There was no way to identify the cause. And this was not a small leak. 100% of my fluid was gone. He will reproduce fluid as I intake it, but it will continue to leak out. The toughest part of the news was that my son was still 3 weeks from "viability," meaning that if he was born now, he would not survive. We could only wait and pray that for 3 more weeks, infection didn't set in and I didn't go into labor. After 3 weeks, if he comes, they can intervene to help him survive. There's still the issue of the fluid, however. See, even if we make it 3 weeks with no infection and no labor, his lungs can't develop without the presence of fluid. So all we can do is wait for God to do a miracle. Seal up the rupture to allow the amniotic sack to refill with fluid....or develop my son in the absence of the fluid, so he can survive when he's forced to come out here. And so our journey begins....

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Surrendering My Thoughts and Feelings to God

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6
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